What Questions Should You Be Asking Yourself?

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor and philosopher studying stoicism. Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that promotes mental toughness in the face of adversity. It teaches us how we can practice self-restraint and rationality at times when events outside of our control affect our lives. It stresses, in particular, that it is how we react to these external adverse events that matters the most.

However, choosing to always be “stoic” can result in bottled up emotions and high levels of internal stress and anxiety. Here is a simple model to help you work through strong emotions during this time of uncertainty:

1.       Recognize- Notice when you are beginning to feel some unpleasant response to a situation that you are thinking about or that is occurring before you. Does your stomach turn, head ache, eyes water, teeth clench, etc.?

2.       Acknowledge – Label the emotion that you are feeling – worry, anger, disappointment, sadness, fear, etc. Try to find the most appropriate term. Just working through this step will start to minimize the unpleasant feelings.

3.       Investigate – As referenced in the Aurelius quote, ask yourself questions. Get curious about the emotion. How big is this issue? Is it worth this much energy? Are there facts to support my strong emotions? Are there other emotions I am feeling at the same time?

4.       Note- Make a decision about how you want to proceed. Discuss your feelings with someone, allow the emotion to sit there, but not take over, do something that you know helps, etc.

This RAIN tool is powerful when tested out frequently.  Emotions come from the stories we tell ourselves and show up to help direct our behavior. It is up to you to decide if the emotion guides you or your rational, logical brain moves you forward!