Authenticity

I’ve been told that I can be brutally honest. I don’t take that as a compliment and work at thinking before I speak in order to add some “tenderness” to a tough message. Authentic communication is a result of speaking with integrity- showing up with your values and as the person you desire to be. If your intention is to hurt, demoralize, embarrass or otherwise demonstrate your power over someone, then yes, you are being authentic. I don’t personally know those people. Most of us want to be heard, but not hurtful, get our point across without causing pain, and be honest while being open to others’ opinions. Here’s how to get started:

1.       Identify your values- what is most important to you?

2.       What descriptors would make you proud if used to describe you?

3.       Reflect on how it feels to be heard by someone else.

4.       Ask the other person for their thoughts/feelings  about what you just said.

5.       If you have regrets about what you said, learn from your mistakes and commit to trying again!

Let’s not use being “authentic” as an excuse to be mean. One of the best pieces of advice given to me many years ago was “mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it”. Are you showing up with integrity?